Updating from my Blackberry

I am trying to update from my blackberry. I really do like tthis phone. I have the Blackberry tour. If I could get java and flash player on this I would never have to use a real computer.

Don't worry.

Ok, so things are going better and have settled into a routine. I feel better and that is the main thing. I am starting to get motivated again and I really do have a lot to do, I hope that I will be able to get some of it done today. My life is on the brink of going up or down, and I am going to try to do everything I can to make sure it goes in the right direction. The prospects look good, but I dont want to say anything, because I dont want to jinx it. The one thing that I have realized is that my goal to move back to Latvia next year seems more and more less likely. There is one prospect which would be great, because I could help Latvia from here, but like I said I dont want to jinx it. I went through some of my old posts and realized that I have been blogging off and on for 5 years. That is pretty crazy. There isnt a whole lot of substance there, but the fact that I still do it is pretty cool. It would be nice to have a function for this blog, but for the most part this blog is just a place to put my random thoughts and updates of my life that are longer then the 140 characters of twitter. It is interesting when I hear that people actually read this, because I dont really write for others, but it is nice to think that someone thinks this is worth reading. Anyway, that is all for now.

I cant believe that its over. I dont want it to be over. Why did i let it be over. Can i still do something? No, its over. That sucks.

I find it amazing that everytime something like this happens i turn on the radio and they play my songs.

I hate everything.

I am trying to avoid doing what i always do in these situations. I know that it wont end well. I am tired of feeling like crap. I am awesome.

Why do I keep screwing up relationships?

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'for you...no charge'.

Bucket List: See the northern lights, Go to Austrialia, Drive from San Francisco to LA along the Pacific Coast Highway listening to the Beach Boys.

Wish List: Job, Apartment, Car, Drinking money, Girlfriend. In that order.

My first 4th of July that I am celebrating in the states in 7 years. It has been many months, but sometimes it still feels weird to be back in the U.S..

Why is my life never in balance? When one part is going great another is failing. I would be happy if everything was average as long as i can avoid the terrible

My Title

http://www.explodingdog.com/title/toomuchrain.html

A Good Day

Well, today was a good day. I went back to Millersville for the first time since I graduated, it was good. It was no where near as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. I saw a few old friends and talked to the students who seemed slightly more interested in me being there then I had expected. After that as I was getting off the turnpike I received a phone call from my parents that they had found a new bar and were drinking, so I joined them. There is a new irish pub type place with a huge selection of beers and soccer on the TVs, after that I helped my mother take canned food to the soup kitchen, and now I am typing this so it has been a good day. Tomorrow starts another work week and next weekend is Easter, so I doubt I am going to get to relax for awhile. Anyway, things are looking up.

Nada Surf - Popular

"Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straight forward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends"

Back to normal

Now that my brother has returned my life has returned to its regular routine. I am continuing the job hunt. Work is getting more bearable. I am glad I have a job, since so many people don't, but I am continuing the search to find the right job for me, even if it means moving out of Philly.

Free Time

Well, things are looking up. I am house sitting for my brother while he is on his honeymoon. Overall the time I have spent house sitting has been pretty uneventful. I realized that when I start living on my own again I will have to fill my life with other things like organizations or projects. It has been relaxing, and I know that tomorrow at work I will regret complaining about the free time, but that is the way it is.

Monday

Today is a regular Monday, but the best part about Monday is Top Gear. I can't wait.

Spring

The weekend is here...Spring is here...hopefully nice weather will be here as well. It is days like this that make me want to make a new start at life. Let's see what I recieve from the world this weekend.

March Craziness

Well, today starts March Maddness. It is the first time in 6 years that I am going to beable to watch and or care about it. March Maddness always kinda made me wish that I would have gone to a "big name" school, but it is just with sports and everytime I tell someone that I went to Millersville. The first question is always "Where?" Don't get me wrong I loved my time at The Ville, but it is just sometimes like during March or college football season that I wish i could see my school's games on TV and follow their stats on ESPN. Oh well.

Ignore

So, I have come to a few conclusions. The one is that my job is so repetitious that it gives me alot of time to think, and as I have noticed before when I am left to my own thoughts they start to question everything, and while I do think that my situation might be my fault, because of the fact that I havent figured what to do about it, I have decided to do what I normally do with problems and that is to keep my head down and hope that it will go away. I know that it isnt the best idea, and I might change my mind after more thinking tomorrow, but for now I am going to ignore it.

Next

So, my quest to find out why I am where I am continues. If I were a business or a project I was working on I would answer the following questions. 1. Where am I now? Where do I want to be? What do I need to do to get there? How do I know when I am there? Now the problem is two fold. Either I don't know the answers to those questions or I don't want to admit to myself the answers to those questions. Admitting things to myself is a problem I have discovered. I have been doing things for certain reasons, but then when I look back at what I have done, I realize that the reasons had to be something else. I used to think that we should be judged by our actions, well if that is true, then I am screwed. I need to start doing better things.

Me?

Ok, so things haven't really gone the way I had hoped that they would. I usually instead of changing things just deal with what is given me, and if i was put in a bad situation, I would somehow distance myself from the situations and either make the most of it or just put my head down and move on, but after recent events I have started to wonder I the problem is me. Well it is alittle more that wondering, I am pretty sure the problem is me, but now the problem is that I dont know how to change that. I used to be an easy going person and an a**hole and it worked for me, but that might be the reason I am where I am. Either way, I have heard that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well, I admit I am an a**hole.

Day four

Today was a slower day, but I am getting used to the people I work with. Also due to a meeting for long time employees I got to leave 45 min early so that is nice. One of the people I work with says we are doing well, I guess thats why we spent the last few minutes "looking busy", but I guess thats normal. Anyway, things are going well.

Day three

Today was a good day at work. I met some new people, and as much as I don't like people I have realized that they do affect the situation. The work I am doing seems to be more stable and regular. I guess it is the kinda of thing i am going to continue on doing. Even though things are looking up I am still continuing the search for a management job.

Day two

Well day two of work is over. I am settling into the job. I am troubled by the lack of thoughts I have while doing the job. The job is repetitive enough that I should beable to do the job while thinking of other things, but they dont seem to be there, maybe I am still too new and my mind is still focused on not screwing up. Either way, things are moving along.

Job

Well things are looking up. Tomorrow I start a warehouse job. Its a far cry from the management level stuff I have been doing, but at this point all I want is an honest days pay for an honest days work. So I am kind of excited, but of course I am not going to stop my search for something bigger and better.

Places

So, life right now is moving forward at a steady pace. I can't seem to catch a break with job openings. I keep making it to the third or final round of interviews and but then nothing. I am thinking that I need to get out of philly and head west. There seems to be more opportunity in places like Ohio. I dont know why, but Ohio doesnt sound like the kind of place I want to move to. I have passed through Ohio with not so good memories. I would like to go to DC, Baltimore, Boston. Anywhere but NYC. That place is too big for its own good. Too many people in a small area. I wouldnt mind being near a beach or a large body of water either. I dont mind traveling. I used to like it alot, but now I get irritated with people quickly when I am traveling.

Happy Hour

Well, things are moving along. Last night was a the "Happy Hour" at the Latvian House in Philly. It went great. I brought Alan and our "fuksi" Janis who is studying at Penn. Everyone had a great time. I have given up beer for lent and as such I was DD. I only had a few cocktails it was nice, but I have discovered that I get bored quickly when everyone is drinking and I am not. I am going have to figure out a game to play to myself to stay interested.

Update

OK, so it has been a really really really long time since I have used this blog, but I figure since I have a bit of free time, and since I want to expand my internet presence I figured I might as well give a little update of my life. I have moved back to the U.S. I am currently looking for a job. My reasons for leaving are based on several factors, but the major one is that the economic situation is shrinking faster than here. That is why my hope is that I will find something here in the U.S..